Madelyn Rae: A Birth Story

11:13 am October 24, 2013

8lbs 6oz 21in long

My due date was Sunday, October 20. That day came and went. Nothing happened. I had no signs of labor. Monday I went on a cleaning rampage. I deep cleaned the kitchen and cleaned out my pantry (something I had on my list to do before the baby was born). That day I also went on a walk up the hill from our apartment to the church. I walked up and down the stairs at the church pony walked on the curb. Still nothing happened. I was so ready to meet this girl.

Tuesday I had a doctors apartment. My doctor checked me and I was dilated to 3cmm 75% thinned like I had been for a week. Ugh. I asked him how long he would let me go before he would want to induce me. He would rather not wait over a week. So we decided that Wednesday night the 23 was the day and we scheduled it.  

Wednesday was a long day. I was nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. I cleaned the house and made sure everything was ready to go. Landon came home from work around 3pm and we just hung out until it was time to go.

(last pregnant picture right before we left for the hospital)

We drove to Idaho Falls and got to the hospital at 8pm.

 Once we were checked in and we were taken up to the labor and delivery room. Our nurse, Melissa, was fantastic. She got me started on cervidil, which was to ripen my cervix, and hopefully to put me into labor. So it was a waiting game now. Landon and I watched Duck Dynasty most of the night and waited. The contractions started to get stronger and closer together. Around 2:30am I got up to go to the bathroom. The contractions were 2-3 min apart and were hurting a lot. I noticed that when I was standing up that the contractions hurt less. So I ended up standing next to the bed for the next hour. By 3:30 I couldn't handle the pain anymore. We called the nurse and had her call the anesthesiologist. By the time that he got there the contractions were a minuet apart and I could hardly stand them.

The epidural was like heaven. I loved it! And our anesthesiologist was amazing. It was quick and not as bad as I had imagined. 

At this time it was after 4am. We were finally able to sleep for a while. Landon was very happy about that. At 6am the nurse came to take out the cervidil and start me on pitocin. The nurse checked me and I had progressed a little. I was dilated to 4cmm. Not what I was wanting to hear.
I was able to sleep a little more until around 8am. My doctor was on his way to break my water. He arrived at 8:30am. When he checked me I was still at 4cmm. I was so disappointed. It felt like it was going to take forever for my labor to progress and for our little girl to make her entrance.
After he broke my water he told me that I would probably be having a baby later that afternoon. I started to feel some intense pressure. It was crazy fast and really intense so the next time the nurse came in I told her about the pressure and so she checked me. I had dilated to 9cmm! In 30min I had gone from 4cmm to 9cmm. I was so shocked and so were the nurses. They called my doctor to tell him to come back because this baby was ready to come.

(right before I started to push)

 I was shocked but so excited! It was around 10:50am when our families left and I started to push. Pushing was awesome. I loved to work with my body. Every contraction I felt so productive when I would push. Her head started to crown. The nurse said, "She has hair, and it's blond!" I was so excited! The doctor hadn't gotten there yet so I had to slow down my pushing and not push so hard. Ugh yeah right... not push while a baby is trying to make her way out?
Anyway the doctor showed up just in time. A couple more pushes and my baby girl was here. They laid her on my chest and I was overwhelmed. I was a mother. We had a perfect beautiful baby girl and she was ours. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I touched her head, heard her cry, and I just couldn't believe that it was real.

We were a family of 3. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. It is surreal. We were parents. The moment that we had been anticipating for 9 months had come. We had a little baby girl.

Since that day life has been so far from normal. It has been long and sleepless and incredible. It is harder than I dreamed and more incredible that I ever imagined.

"Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else's happiness and well being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong."
- Donna Ball-

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
-Neil L. Anderson-

 

3 years

Happy 3 years to my sweetheart. Wow how time flies when you are having fun. It has been a wonderful 3 years and life just keeps getting better. Now here are some engagement and wedding photos for you to enjoy. Photography by the lovely Jill Aponte.

Then Comes What?

A baby! That's what we are talking about. Landon and are are expecting a baby the middle of October this year! We were sure shocked and surprised when we found out the news but we are so excited (and really scared) to start this phase in our lives.

I feel that it is important that I document how it all came to be and my feelings on it.
We weren't planning on having a baby this year. Not at all. It was coming soon but not this soon. We were talking about having a baby around our 4th anniversary. We were confident in our plan and we knew that the path that we were going to purse was good.
So because this wasn't necessarily the exact plan that we had made for ourselves we were pretty shocked and surprised that the Lord had another plan for our family. I found out the day after Valentines Day. I hadn't missed anything but I just had a feeling to take that pregnancy test that I had stashed away under the sink. Landon was at work until 10 that night and around 8 pm I took that test. I had taken pregnancy test before and I thought that this would be the same routine as the previous ones. Take the test, 3 min later a negative. But that was not what happened. I took the test and went on my way. Then as I came back I was shocked. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was positive. I started pacing the bedroom. How can this be? I don't believe that this could be true? So I called Landon and had him bring home some more test.
I took one test that night around 11. Positive again. The next one I waited until the morning to take. Another positive. My mind was spinning. I am pregnant? What? How can that be? We weren't planning this. And we had a plan. What happened to that plan?
I have always wanted to be a mother. But when it was on a different time table than I planned I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I was scared. Well terrified mostly. Everything was changing and I felt like I had no control.
Then Monday came. I was so emotional I couldn't contain my tears. I called my doctor to set up my first appointment. I didn't know what I was doing and I was scared that it wasn't real. They don't see patients until they around 8 weeks along. That was going to be a whole month away. I couldn't handle that. I needed to know now if it was really true. So instead of freaking out too much I drove to the store and bought 2 more test. I took them. Positive. The total was now up to 5 positive test. I had to be true.
I started praying. If this is real, Heavenly Father, please help me. I am totally out of my league and don't know what to do, or how to act. Please help me to be calm and to accept that what is happening is what is going to work out. After I closed my prayer I felt peace. Whatever happens is going to happen. There is a plan for me. I have no idea what that plan is but the Lord does.
This experience has really helped me to rely on my faith in my Heavenly Father. I don't know what to do most of the time. And then when I do make a decision I make wrong ones a lot.

Spring

Spring has sprung. Finally Idaho has gotten the memo and the weather has warmed up some. Some meaning a little over 50 degrees. I love Idaho. It has fantastic seasons. So different each one of them. Spring is one of my favorites. I love the flowers blooming and the grass turning green.
Another thing that comes with spring is Easter. Eggs, baskets, chicks, and candy all remind us of this time of year. One thing that is important to me about Easter is the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is a time where we think of hope.  Because Christ rose the 3rd day from the tomb we too will live again.
Thomas S. Monson said this, "To all who have lost loved ones, we would turn Job’s question to an answer: If a man die, he shall live again. We know, for we have the light of revealed truth. “I am the resurrection, and the life,” spoke the Master. “He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.”
I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I know that he lives now and that he redeemed me from my sins so that if I follow him I will live again with him. I love my family and I love that I have the chance to live with them again after this life. It is such a comfort to know these things.

When your baby brother isn't a baby anymore

My youngest brother turned 12 on Thursday. We are 11 years apart and I have always seen him as a baby. It has been hard for me to realize that he isn't a little baby anymore. He is a big kid. A young man. Some times I still treat him like a little baby but I have realized especially with the big 1-2 that he isn't a little baby but he is turning into a great young man.

He was the funnest, cutest baby you could ever meet. I was old enough that I remember taking care of him and loving it. He was like my practice baby. He probably gets sick of me being his second mother but I love him to pieces.
This is him all grown up.

Being 12 is so cool. It is a big moment in your life. You are finally out of primary. You are officially not a little kid anymore but you are not close to being an adult. You can do almost everything on your own and you defiantly don't need your mom to help you out. Josh is such a special young man. He is different from most because he would rather spend time with his family than his friends. He is funny and loves to play games. I am so glad that I get to be Joshua's older sister and see him grow up.
Happy Birthday Joshua! I love you and I am glad to be your sister!!

Life

For the past while life has just been so crazy! We found out that our house is sold and we have to move by April 15th. Landon got a promotion at work and is now working full time. I have decided to go to school in the spring so that I can finish school earlier than expected. We have so many things going on that I don't even know where to begin. And on top of that I had some kind of flu last week that just knocked me out!
I love this quote

Source: lds.org via Kendra on Pinterest

This is how Landon was this last week. So kind and willing to serve me. Our house may not have looked like heaven but it felt like it to me. I didn't cook, clean, or do much of anything but Landon was still there to get me what I needed.

Family is so important and it is so important to remember to serve the people in your family. We are here for each other whether we like it or not. Luckily I have chosen my husband and I love my choice so serving him isn't that hard.

I challenge you today to find a way to serve those around you that you call family. Do something that will make your home a heaven.

Marriage

Marriage can be a funny thing. We have been married for 2 and a half years and we are no good at it. I mean we still fight and get mad at each other all the time. But the thing about all that is that we still love each other through it all. Dr. Gottman, a foremost researcher of marriage, said that it isn't a matter of how much or how little a couple fights but it is how they make up that really makes the difference of whether or not they stay together. According to that theory I am feeling pretty good about us. We still fight but we also are really good at making up.
This quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley really helps put in perspective what marriage really means -
"I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes.”
We all come with mistakes and weaknesses in our lives. Marriage doesn't fix them. The thing that we need to be willing to do is love the person that you have chosen to be with. It is like this old saying says, Choose your love and love your choice. Once you are married it is your duty and your promise to always love and take care of that person. You made the choice to be with them forever because you love them. Remember that love and look at them through those eyes.

Home Alone

Landon doesn't get home until 9 at night from work so I am home along for a while... in the dark... in the woods. I am usually just fine by myself. I do lock every door to everywhere and make sure all the blinds are closed and that I know where the gun is and that it is ready to go... just in case. But seriously, most days are great. I kinda like my alone time to do whatever I want. To watch shows Landon won't watch with me and eat in bed. (Don't tell Landon he hates when I eat in bed)
But last night was a different story. It was getting to be 8 o'clock so I went to the kitchen to start dinner. I was browning the meat when I hear 2 big THUDS coming from the back porch. If you don't know my closest neighbor is about a quarter mile away, and we live basically in the middle of the forest. No body can see our house from the road and for all intensive purposes we are all by ourselves. So I hear these THUDS. I get freaked. So I grab the gun and go to to back door. I turn on the porch light and I see... nothing. Everything is fine. No footprints in the snow. No animals, nothing. So I walk to every window looking outside to make sure that there is nothing there. Nope... I am all alone, or so I thought. I go back to making dinner. Once dinner is finished I get back in bed and start to watch my show (The Biggest Loser). Now I am at the totally opposite side of the house and I hear a couple more THUDS. Again with the gun and looking out the window. Nothing. So I know Landon won't be home for a while so I call my Mom. She sends my dad over to check everything out. Once he pulls into the drive way he sees it....

(just pretend there is snow on the ground and that I took this picture last night)

A big daddy moose. Right by my porch. I couldn't see him when I looked out the window because he was black but when my dad pulled up his headlights caught the culprit.
I was freaking out for nothing. But I was glad that my dad came to rescue me.

Christmas 2012

 

I just love Christmas. Friends and Family. Good food. And the love... there is just so much love to go around. Here are the pictures from our Christmas vacation time.