Happy New Year!

Here is a little end/beginning of the year update I made about my little family. Enjoy and I hope that your new year brings sunshine and sweet new memories! Love, Kendra

Madelyn Rae: A Birth Story

11:13 am October 24, 2013

8lbs 6oz 21in long

My due date was Sunday, October 20. That day came and went. Nothing happened. I had no signs of labor. Monday I went on a cleaning rampage. I deep cleaned the kitchen and cleaned out my pantry (something I had on my list to do before the baby was born). That day I also went on a walk up the hill from our apartment to the church. I walked up and down the stairs at the church pony walked on the curb. Still nothing happened. I was so ready to meet this girl.

Tuesday I had a doctors apartment. My doctor checked me and I was dilated to 3cmm 75% thinned like I had been for a week. Ugh. I asked him how long he would let me go before he would want to induce me. He would rather not wait over a week. So we decided that Wednesday night the 23 was the day and we scheduled it.  

Wednesday was a long day. I was nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. I cleaned the house and made sure everything was ready to go. Landon came home from work around 3pm and we just hung out until it was time to go.

(last pregnant picture right before we left for the hospital)

We drove to Idaho Falls and got to the hospital at 8pm.

 Once we were checked in and we were taken up to the labor and delivery room. Our nurse, Melissa, was fantastic. She got me started on cervidil, which was to ripen my cervix, and hopefully to put me into labor. So it was a waiting game now. Landon and I watched Duck Dynasty most of the night and waited. The contractions started to get stronger and closer together. Around 2:30am I got up to go to the bathroom. The contractions were 2-3 min apart and were hurting a lot. I noticed that when I was standing up that the contractions hurt less. So I ended up standing next to the bed for the next hour. By 3:30 I couldn't handle the pain anymore. We called the nurse and had her call the anesthesiologist. By the time that he got there the contractions were a minuet apart and I could hardly stand them.

The epidural was like heaven. I loved it! And our anesthesiologist was amazing. It was quick and not as bad as I had imagined. 

At this time it was after 4am. We were finally able to sleep for a while. Landon was very happy about that. At 6am the nurse came to take out the cervidil and start me on pitocin. The nurse checked me and I had progressed a little. I was dilated to 4cmm. Not what I was wanting to hear.
I was able to sleep a little more until around 8am. My doctor was on his way to break my water. He arrived at 8:30am. When he checked me I was still at 4cmm. I was so disappointed. It felt like it was going to take forever for my labor to progress and for our little girl to make her entrance.
After he broke my water he told me that I would probably be having a baby later that afternoon. I started to feel some intense pressure. It was crazy fast and really intense so the next time the nurse came in I told her about the pressure and so she checked me. I had dilated to 9cmm! In 30min I had gone from 4cmm to 9cmm. I was so shocked and so were the nurses. They called my doctor to tell him to come back because this baby was ready to come.

(right before I started to push)

 I was shocked but so excited! It was around 10:50am when our families left and I started to push. Pushing was awesome. I loved to work with my body. Every contraction I felt so productive when I would push. Her head started to crown. The nurse said, "She has hair, and it's blond!" I was so excited! The doctor hadn't gotten there yet so I had to slow down my pushing and not push so hard. Ugh yeah right... not push while a baby is trying to make her way out?
Anyway the doctor showed up just in time. A couple more pushes and my baby girl was here. They laid her on my chest and I was overwhelmed. I was a mother. We had a perfect beautiful baby girl and she was ours. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I touched her head, heard her cry, and I just couldn't believe that it was real.

We were a family of 3. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. It is surreal. We were parents. The moment that we had been anticipating for 9 months had come. We had a little baby girl.

Since that day life has been so far from normal. It has been long and sleepless and incredible. It is harder than I dreamed and more incredible that I ever imagined.

"Motherhood is a choice you make everyday to put someone else's happiness and well being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong."
- Donna Ball-

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."
-Neil L. Anderson-

 

Then Comes What?

A baby! That's what we are talking about. Landon and are are expecting a baby the middle of October this year! We were sure shocked and surprised when we found out the news but we are so excited (and really scared) to start this phase in our lives.

I feel that it is important that I document how it all came to be and my feelings on it.
We weren't planning on having a baby this year. Not at all. It was coming soon but not this soon. We were talking about having a baby around our 4th anniversary. We were confident in our plan and we knew that the path that we were going to purse was good.
So because this wasn't necessarily the exact plan that we had made for ourselves we were pretty shocked and surprised that the Lord had another plan for our family. I found out the day after Valentines Day. I hadn't missed anything but I just had a feeling to take that pregnancy test that I had stashed away under the sink. Landon was at work until 10 that night and around 8 pm I took that test. I had taken pregnancy test before and I thought that this would be the same routine as the previous ones. Take the test, 3 min later a negative. But that was not what happened. I took the test and went on my way. Then as I came back I was shocked. I couldn't believe what I saw. It was positive. I started pacing the bedroom. How can this be? I don't believe that this could be true? So I called Landon and had him bring home some more test.
I took one test that night around 11. Positive again. The next one I waited until the morning to take. Another positive. My mind was spinning. I am pregnant? What? How can that be? We weren't planning this. And we had a plan. What happened to that plan?
I have always wanted to be a mother. But when it was on a different time table than I planned I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I was scared. Well terrified mostly. Everything was changing and I felt like I had no control.
Then Monday came. I was so emotional I couldn't contain my tears. I called my doctor to set up my first appointment. I didn't know what I was doing and I was scared that it wasn't real. They don't see patients until they around 8 weeks along. That was going to be a whole month away. I couldn't handle that. I needed to know now if it was really true. So instead of freaking out too much I drove to the store and bought 2 more test. I took them. Positive. The total was now up to 5 positive test. I had to be true.
I started praying. If this is real, Heavenly Father, please help me. I am totally out of my league and don't know what to do, or how to act. Please help me to be calm and to accept that what is happening is what is going to work out. After I closed my prayer I felt peace. Whatever happens is going to happen. There is a plan for me. I have no idea what that plan is but the Lord does.
This experience has really helped me to rely on my faith in my Heavenly Father. I don't know what to do most of the time. And then when I do make a decision I make wrong ones a lot.